Choose Your Words Wisely
08/2020
It’s amazing how a comment from one person can bring your entire world crashing down.
Tonight, after a fantastic performance, I was approached by a lady. Standing beside my mum, she said, gesturing towards her, “How come you are so thin…” Then she looked at me and continued, “…and you’re not.”
She looked confused, as though she wasn’t quite sure whether Mum and I were actually related.
Little did she know that I’ve struggled with my body image since college.
Little did she know that a comment similar to this was what triggered a series of eating disorders in my early twenties.
My heart sank.
I didn’t say anything. I sat silently in the car on the drive home, tears streaming down my face. Mum reassured me that I wasn’t fat and reminded me how far I’ve come. My best friend reminded me how strong and amazing my body is, and of everything it does for me every single day.
I felt their love. I really did.
But the damage had been done.
I hadn’t been feeling particularly confident in my body over the past few weeks, and suddenly all of those old thoughts came flooding back. I found myself thinking about hurting myself through old behaviours and trying to undo what I had eaten.
Instead, I stopped.
I took a long, hard look at myself in the mirror, unclothed. I noticed the marks on my stomach where my jeans had been fastened, and I broke down crying before climbing into bed.
And then, lying there, I made a decision.
Today would be the day I started my blog.
Something positive would come from this.
I wanted to create a safe space where I could share my thoughts, feelings and experiences honestly. A place where I could talk about body image, self-worth and the things we don’t always feel comfortable saying out loud.
And, hopefully, somewhere along the way, I might help someone else feel a little less alone.
Because words matter.
They can carry so much weight and meaning. They have the ability to make someone’s entire day or, as I experienced today, completely break it.
We never truly know what someone else is carrying.
We don’t know their history. We don’t know their struggles. We don’t know how many times they’ve fought to make peace with themselves.
So, before you comment on someone’s body, appearance or weight, pause.
Ask yourself whether it really needs to be said.
My closing thought is simple:
Always choose your words wisely.